she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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