my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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