And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
