Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
