i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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