I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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