Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me

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(323): Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me http://tfl.nu/d8jq

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(408): View more from California

Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.

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(408): Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0. http://tfl.nu/rypw

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(804): View more from Virginia

i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry

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(804): i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry http://tfl.nu/11d0

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(305): View more from Florida

Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news

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(305): Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news http://tfl.nu/t3j8

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(740): View more from Ohio

you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking

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(740): you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking http://tfl.nu/ha4q

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

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(608): He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night http://tfl.nu/for8

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.

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(204): Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out. http://tfl.nu/sq7d

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(419): View more from Ohio

fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

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(419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e

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(909): View more from California

The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

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(909): The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you. http://tfl.nu/bupp

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(419): View more from Ohio

Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

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(419): Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test. http://tfl.nu/jxmi

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

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(218): I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent. http://tfl.nu/0vft

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

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(202): He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message. http://tfl.nu/bw67

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(347): View more from New York

Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!

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(347): Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?! http://tfl.nu/ypzd

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"

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(440): I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found" http://tfl.nu/rmaa

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(512): View more from Texas

I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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(512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l

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