defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
