he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
