I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
