my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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