"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
