Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
