Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
