doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
