my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
