no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
