can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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