Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize