I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
