That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
