ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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