There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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