bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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