Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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