Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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