ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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