If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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