the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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