Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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