After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
