I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
