I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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