i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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