I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
