Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
