he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
