Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
