dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize