Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
