I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
