grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
