Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize