Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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