Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
