she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
