didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize