So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
