If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
