I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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