he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Boobs are out for the taking
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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