Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
