dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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