No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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