no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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