I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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