If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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