yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
