What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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