we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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