I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We named our party play list daddy issues
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
