On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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