HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
