I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
