i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize